Skip to main content

No Room Here !

‘Yes Mum thanks, I can do that…it will be good preparation. We will be gone in a fortnight OK’, I say to her.

‘You mean you are going to cycle all the way to Scotland with Alice in a trailer at this time of year!’ Asked Mum with a bewildered look.
‘I don’t have a fixed place to go yet, but will work it out as I go along…sort of mobile job seeking - don’t worry too much, we’ll be OK’, I say half-convincingly.
She sips her tea, then banging her cup down shrieks: ‘Don’t worry Hilary?’ glaring angrily at me. ‘So, what are you going to do for money until you find that job?’ she uttered alarmingly, ‘because we can’t help you that’s for sure!’ storming away into the living room where Dennis and grandad are sitting.

Hassle - Again

Following Mum I slowly approach and stop short at the entrance to the lounge where Grandad is habitually prodding the fresh aromatic strands of tobacco into his pipe, but more careless than usual.  Dropping half of the precious leaves over his handy table, he tuts, then launches his calculated tirade in my direction:  ‘You’re always upsetting your Mum when you’re here…why can’t you sort your life out and leave us alone…we haven’t got room for you’.  
Being prepared for the worst I reckoned that if I showed patience and humility throughout their usual verbal onslaught (including Dennis), I would give them the moral high ground and let them see the tail between my legs for the next fortnight.  Unassumingly, I presented my pitiful case:
‘If we can stay in the garage to acclimatize to the cold it would be really appreciated Mum…I won’t be in the house much because I’ve got lots of packing and planning to do for the trip’ I said in my best diplomatic voice. 
Walking backing into the kitchen and lowering her voice, ‘Alright Hilary, but it’s your grandad really, he can’t handle all this upset at his age now, so please promise to be gone in two weeks-can you do that?’
       ‘Yes no problem Mum, thanks, I won’t be any trouble’ I say in a relieved tone noticing her compassion and change of heart.  On my way out through the back door I reiterate my intentions:  ‘I’m going to sort out some space in the garage now OK’.
Walking out through the cool autumnal air towards my new home-a garage half full of old furniture and white goods-I can feel my pent-up emotions reeling from this ordeal. I’m not sure whether to scream in relief or ball my eyes out.  I begin unfolding what looks like a vintage tennis umpire chair and wipe-off years of dust and a multitude of cobwebs gathered between the folds of the cool musty racing green fabric.  The air is cold and damp and just as I settle my weight into the material of the old seat I’m reminded of my predicament when big Dennis-with a face like thunder- barges through the door: 

            ‘Don’t be making a mess in here and things must be as you found them before you leave’ he says. 
‘Yes, no problem’ I say reassuringly.  ‘I will need to sweep this floor as I’m bringing Alice this afternoon’. 
‘Ok, will you have enough room then?’ he asks, half interested as he makes his way back out of the garage door before giving me a chance to answer.
Relieved he’s gone, I make back towards the tennis chair and sit to take a breather and collect my thoughts in the cool fusty air.  Pondering over the situation, I stretch out my legs and place my feet over an ageing bedside table with a crumpled tabloid newspaper on it.
       ‘Aah…I don’t care if it’s cold in here’, I say quietly to myself…’I have the space to plan and pack for our getaway trip’ now.  There’s only one thing I’m seriously concerned about and that’s my budget…will Leo give me the money he owes me for the deposit from the house rental this afternoon? If not it’s back to the drawing board OMG. 

Join me next time to find out how we get on living in the cold damp garage.

Ta ta for now.   


👯 xx


Popular posts from this blog

'Onnane - Who Am I And Why Am I Doing This Crazy Trip?

 Alice and I before heading out onto the bike and into the cold  ( Dounreay, Dec 2009) How I Ended-Up Doing This Crazy Trip This true story begins ten years ago on the East Yorkshire coast of England. This blog is written retrospectively as if the event were occuring in the present. It is an account of a risky Winter cycle trip towing a cat in a trailer on a very tight budget.   All I know is that we’re heading North.   It’s a story of fate, family squabbles, adventure, survival, solitude and resilience in the face of extraordinary challenges. How far will we get and will we be OK! Truth is Stranger than Fiction Hello, my name is Hilary and my cat’s called Alice.   I live with my brother Leo in Bridlington, England and my mum is re-married and lives two miles away with her husband Dennis and my ninety-four year old grandad.   I'm in my early forties , Leo is two years younger and Alice is thirteen and we’ve lived in the same house since the end of 2003.   Leo wo

Getting Things Ready

Clearing the Air The short stretch from the cold garage was a careful series of meandering right and left turns through overgrown decaying foliage and the path was barely visible until it straightened out back to the house.   Sauntering along it struck me how the garden was so drab and overlooked and how the small pond was now dry and lifeless.    I didn’t know it then, but this was an ominous sign of things to come. Image licensed from She busied herself with the usual morning routine while the autum rain and gusty wind began to batter the kitchen window.   A familiar quick knock and the whoosh of mail hitting the floor caught our attention as the bright orange glow of the postie’s jacket faded through the smoky-glass pane as he continued his walk.   Mum had always hated official looking mail…but I picked it up anyway and handed it to Dennis. Something was bothering her, I knew because she always immersed herself in some pointless radio debate befor

Big Change is Coming

Bridlington, East Riding of Yorkshire Change is Coming As time’s rolled-by in Bridlington I’ve become stagnant, dissatisfied and without true purpose and also suffering from Gender Re-assignment Surgery post-operative anti-climax, which can last several's a form of depression if you like, but it feels as if there's a big vacuum in your life. I am happy that I finally had the operation, just that it's normal to feel this way for genuine trans girls. Anyway, I have always resorted to exercise to settle my mind and this situation is no different…at least temporarily anyway. So I decided to take-up cycling. I bought a cheap used hybrid bike and after finishing my morning shift as a cleaner began by cycling eight miles every second day . After three months I was completing forty plus miles each ride. Then I purchased a sturdy used road bike, the Claud Butler Criterium, which was much lighter with plenty of gears. I enjoyed maintaining it and al